Our vacation ended yesterday. We packed up from our cottage, said goodbye to the ocean, and drove back home. I’m now faced with endless piles of laundry and kids exhausted from a busy week, but I’m feeling okay, amazingly enough. Better than I have for the past couple of days.
Yesterday morning my husband got up early with the dog, went for a walk, and then the kids joined him, and he fed kids and dog… all while I slept. We had a lot to do in a short time – packing up from our week plus cleaning the cottage. It wasn’t the best day for me to be sleeping in as late as I did.
When I woke up and realized the time, I got out of bed, changed quickly, and jumped into packing and getting the kids organized. I had been up for about half an hour before I realized that something was missing – my irritation and annoyance at the world. My guilt and shame over sleeping so late and having my husband take care of everyone. My feeling like I was weighed down all the time. Somehow, I had lost my 7 tons of bricks.
When I realized this, I stopped to sort of run a quick mental check. Was I really feeling better? Was the anxiety and dread just around the corner? A quick peek told me that no, it wasn’t lurking close by. It might be farther back, but it wasn’t right there. So I decided to go with my first impression – today would be a good day. I was going to feel better. I could have talked myself out of it, and brought to mind the things that had weighed me down just the day before. But I didn’t. I wanted to plow ahead with my first impression.
For now the fog seems to have rolled away as quietly as it arrived. Here’s hoping it doesn’t descend again for a little while. I feel like I need a break.
One Depressed Mama 